We have been married for a while now. And while we by no means consider ourselves experts, or our marriage perfect, we are happy to say our marriage is a very happy one. I’ve been thinking for a while now that we could maybe share a few of the things we’ve learned along our journey. Maybe mostly for us. But maybe it would help someone else, too. After all, we love weddings and we love photographing them. But what the wedding is really about is the MARRIAGE!
Episode 1 // NEWSFLASH: Your normal isn’t normal.
The quicker you understand this and are able to determine how to deal with it, the better.We had so many examples of this, I had a really hard time deciding which one to share. I decided to go with the example of the socks.
Socks should be mated and rolled together. I’d done it that way for 18 years, so that’s just the way it is. And honestly, it had never occurred to me that anyone would do it any differently.
One day a few months after being married, Morgan so nicely asked me to please not roll his socks. I had no idea why he would ask me something like that. He explained to me that it stretches out the elastic and makes his socks fall down.
It is easy for me to take offense to something like that, for some reason. I know I’m doing it right, and I know I’m doing a good job of it. Why would someone want to correct it?
The point is this: we each come from different opinions, families, backgrounds, and traditions. It does not make one way right and another way wrong. They’re just different. Morgan still has to remind me of that. We are different, and that’s not a bad thing. If we would’ve started our marriage a little more aware of our differences, and with a better understanding about what each others’ “normal” was, we would’ve been in a better position to talk it through without hurt feelings. Again, the sooner both people in the relationship can recognize DIFFERENT as DIFFERENT and not WRONG, the better off you will be as a couple.
Marriage is not about living the way you were raised, with all the same traditions. It’s about creating your own sense of normal together. It takes patience, and work. It takes an intentional effort and humility to realize there’s not just one right way to do something.
And now Morgan folds the clothes. Done and done.
ABOVE IMAGE BY LACY LANGE PHOTOGRAPHY