IT’S ONLY MONEY.
Once again, I want to say that we don’t consider ourselves experts on marriage. We don’t assume that we are the best at it or that we can teach eveyone all about it. We share with love and not for it to be taken out of context in any way. Every marriage is different, and what works for us, may not work for someone else. We just want to share what we’ve learned on our journey that may help our couples or anyone who happens upon our blog.
Last month, I decided quite last minute to put in for a contest to win an amazing photography workshop in Seattle. (Creativelive — they are an amazing company, check them out here!) They choose me! And I had such a great time meeting such great people and talented photographers and learning things to push us forward in our business. It was honestly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me. This wasn’t something that we had planned for a long time, which is how we usually operate. This trip cost money to fly and stay there for 4 days, do some sight seeing, and of COURSE I needed new clothes! 😉 We don’t have a lot of money, and we usually do a lot of planning before big purchases like this one.
On the plane flying home, I was thinking to myself about what an awesome thing I had just been able to do, and I would never have been able to do it without the quiet support of my husband. When I told him I wanted to submit an audition video, he just said, “Okay, when do you want me to video it for you?” When I told him how much the plane tickets were he said, “Wow, that’s not too bad.” When I told him how much the hotel would be, he said, “Cool, did you book it yet?” I never had to beg him. He never complained once about any of it. And that’s not even counting the arrangements he had to make at work to be able to get the kids taken care of while I was gone.
When I got home, I made a point to tell him how grateful I was for that undying support of…well, pretty much anything I can dream up. (I could go into a lot of examples here about crazy ideas I have that he always, ALWAYS supports, but I’ll save that for another day.) When we were having the conversation about the money, he mentioned to me something I had never thought of. He said that early in our marriage he had noticed that any time he asked me if he could purchase something big, I never said No. I would say, “If you think we have the money to do it, then do it.” He said that in the beginning, when I would come to him and ask him for something, his initial reaction would be to question it – do we really need it or HOW MUCH? But he would always remember the way I treated him when he wanted something. It has never been a game of score-keeping. Neither of us say to the other, “Sure, you can buy that, but that means I get to buy ________.” Of course, there have been many times that we have discussed, and decided together that we don’t have the money for that right now, or that we would wait. And to this day we don’t buy big ticket items without discussing them first.
I never even knew, until today, how my attitude toward money had changed the way Morgan felt about it. That it’s more about the needs and wants of the PERSON than the money itself.
Me with my amazing instructor, Jen Rozenbaum, at CreativeLIVE.
MORGAN + ALISON